Pursue Clarity Not Intimacy

Clarity precedes intimacy.


I’m not the appropriate person to make this post because of the mistakes that I did in the context of relationships but still the significance of this conviction couldn’t be understated. Here’s the conviction: Christ-centered clarity precedes Christ-centered intimacy.


Intimacy is safest in the context of a covenant relationship: marriage. Marriage is safest in the context of clarity.


That’s the goal of courtship: to gain clarity on whether both of you are made for each other to show Jesus to the world, to commit your lives to discipleship, to raise a godly heritage, and to be the significant other whom God will use in order for both of you to be more and more like Jesus.


Due to the influx of books and articles on dating, the well-meaning advise just put us into frustration and confusion. There’s no straight-forward passage in the Bible about dating. So, those well-meaning advise is not absolute but should be applied in wisdom.


The instructions of the Christian God are clear. Marry a member of the opposite sex (Gen. 2:24) and that person should be a Christian (1 Cor. 7:39). The Bible is also clear regarding the distinctions of man and woman and the related responsibilities that accompany that distinctions. Future husbands/husbands should strive to lead humbly, love sacrificially, protect diligently, and provide sacrificially like Christ (Eph. 5:25-30). While, future wives/wives should strive to submit joyfully to the headship that God bestows upon his husband (Eph. 5:22-25).


The goal of  activities prior to marriage is not intimacy but clarity.


The Bible is also clear. If the woman is not your wife then she’s your sister (1 Tim. 5:2). Having siblings of the opposite sex is helpful. Since, I’ve learned of this teaching, I always ask myself, “Can I do to this woman of God the things that I could do to my biological sisters?” I’ll just give one example to make it short. If you don’t passionately kiss your biological sisters then you shouldn’t do the same with your sisters in Christ. The same principle goes with women.


The purpose of this article is not to show the how to’s of dating. It’s to establish its purpose and that’s clarity not intimacy.


Again, intimacy is safest in the context of marriage.


Thank you for reading my blog post. Hope you are blessed.

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Author: nobody.who.has.Jesus

I don't know where to pour out my thoughts so I've decided to pour it out on my blog posts. I want to encourage and enlighten people through my blog posts so I really hope that I'd be a blessing to you as the reader. I just want also to take this opportunity to say how much I appreciate the people who have read my blog posts. :) Feel free to comment your questions, criticisms, and encouragements. I'd really appreciate it.

3 thoughts on “Pursue Clarity Not Intimacy”

  1. I really liked this post. It does give a different perspective on the clarity part. Many of us would have had different results from prior relationships had we had this info to guard our hearts. And, so important is the like minded aspect regarding the purpose in God for the relationship. Many desire for their significant other to be committed to Christ because of the value of it, but don’t want to commit to the same level themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

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