When Cynicism Sets In

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, cynical means to be “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives”. I struggle a lot with cynicism. I am distrustful of people. I tried reflecting on what caused it and I could not pinpoint a single reason that contributed to my cynicism. Various reasons have worked together for me to be a cynical person.

One reason is I get disappointed when people have failed me. I tend to be cynical when my expectations are unmet. I think this is partly my fault because I should not put expectations on people who are bound to fail. Another reason is that there are so many stories of betrayal in this broken world, I could not help to think that it could happen to me as well. We are sinners so our natural tendency is to betray the trust of others rather than to gain their trust. I for once have also experienced betrayal so there are times that I think that cynicism is the way to keep from being betrayed because I already expect the worst from people. Another reason is that I struggle with pessimism. I tend to think the worst of the situation almost always. I think that pessimism also contributed to my cynicism because I think both are interrelated.

I believe that I am not just the one who is struggling with cynicism because it could be a natural response to this broken world that is filled with broken people who are bound to disappoint us. What do we do now when cynicism sets in?

This is a daily struggle for me so it helps when I remind myself daily that my heavenly Father does not commit any mistakes when He allows to enter people in my life. What my God requires of me is to love people and not to resort to cynicism. And “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:7) Love believes all things means that we are to be believers rather than cynics especially when there is no sufficient grounds to warrant distrust after thoughtful and careful consideration of a person. This is a daily dosage of truth that we should remind ourselves of.

Another helpful reminder is to remind ourselves with Psalm 27 particularly verses 13 and 14 which says: “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” The Lord is always good despite sinful people including me and you. Hence, we ought to be strong and have courageous hearts because our true hope is fixed in the Lord and not in others. Despite the evil in this world that warrants our cynicism, the Lord has still shown us His goodness. The sun, rain, food, shelter, clothing, oxygen, family, friends, and the like speak that God has not forsaken us. He is still not complete in his work in us. He is in the process of making things new until all things are fully made new in the new heavens and the new earth.

Meditating upon the providence of the Lord helps as well. Always remember that all events including all the hurtful acts of people made against us will be used by God for our good. (Rom. 8:28) What comfort it is that our God is in control over every choice and all kinds of people? What comfort it is that no one can thwart His purposes? The God who owns the universe is also our Father who governs and directs all things for His glory and our good. Cynicism is not a proper response to the God who is bigger than all problems. Let us ask the Lord to increase our faith in Him regardless of the bad circumstances that befall on us.

Let us remember as well that we are also sinners who are bound to disappoint others and break their trust. We are not worthy of trust as well because we are broken people. We are a work in progress just like everybody else. We are in need of constant transforming grace. That is why, we should “be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”(Luke 6:36) Let us also “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matt. 7:12) Cynicism to others breeds more distrust in our relationships. When others feel that they are not trusted, they might not trust us well. In some sense, it is somehow true that cynicism is like a mirror. But Jesus exhorts us that if we want others to trust us then we should trust them as well. Let us be reminded of the wonderful example of Jesus towards Judas. Jesus loved Judas until the very end even though Judas betrayed him.