I would want to share insights I have gained in relationships from my meditation on Genesis 2. I would like to start first with Genesis 2:15, it says, “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” The first principle that we could see here is that God created man for work and has given him a platform (garden) to do the work. In today’s age, there are varieties of labor that man could choose from according to the individuals gifts and desires. There are also various platforms wherein work could be applied. Be it in business, agriculture, law, medicine, and other platforms the world has given us. We are not meant for idleness but for God-glorifying work. We would do well to ask ourselves when considering a potential partner, “Does he or she work with the constant awareness of the presence of God – doing all things – for the glory of God?” or “Does he or she exhibit idleness at work?” “Does he or she make the gospel more beautiful because of his or her attitude towards work?”
The second principle is that man is the leader, protector, provider, and the one who is responsible for his wife. In Gen. 2:16:17, it says there: “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” The man was commanded by God to not eat of the fruit. The woman was not still in the picture so it should be the man who must take the leadership and responsibility to protect his wife by communicating to her the commandment of God. Unfortunately, the man failed as said in Gen. 3. We can see in Gen. 3 that God holds the man primarily responsible for what they did even though it was the woman who was deceived by the serpent because he was tasked to be the leader and protector of the woman. Since, man was the one tasked to keep and cultivate the garden, he is deemed to be held primarily responsible to be the provider for their sustenance. A man should hold fast to the word of God or else there would be dire consequences of disobedience. The consequences is clearly seen after they eat of fruit. A man should be a man of Word of God to protect her wife from the falsehood and deception of satan. Leading, providing, and protecting go beyond the physical needs but primarily focus on the spiritual needs of the wife just as Jesus give Himself up to cleanse His bride. Men should aim the mold of Jesus and ask within, “Do I lead with a servant heart and love sacrificially?” “Am I willing to risk my life to protect my future wife in physical danger?” “If a burglar enters the house, am I willing to defend her?” “Am I equipped to protect her from worldliness and the schemes of the enemy?” “Could I provide food and clothing – necessities – for my future family?” “Am I constantly equipping myself with the word of God to lead my family according to God’s word?” “Do I exhibit faithfulness and dependence on God or Am I self-reliant when problem comes my way?”
The third principle that I have seen is that man needs help for the task that God has in stored for him. Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” It is clear in the verse that the work that God commanded man to do necessitates the help of someone suitable for the work as well. Usually, as we try to look for our lifetime partners, we really consider how our gifts and callings compliments with each other in order to fully serve God with our combined capacities. There are times that the strength of the man is where the woman is weak at and vice versa. The phrase “fit for him” assumes a complementary relationship; what he lacks she supplies and vice versa. Both should understand each other giftedness and encourage and make way for the exercise of each other giftedness for the glory of God. They ought to walk hand in hand in advancing the kingdom of God.
The fourth principle that I have learned is before God gave the woman to the man, he formed animals first but Adam did not find a suitable helper for him. (Gen. 2:19-20) I personally see here that God did not give right away the woman so that the man would appreciate her when God gives her to him. Delays cause appreciation and gratitude.
The fifth principle is the woman is not an afterthought. God already planned from the beginning that He will give a helper to the man. If it’s God’s will for us to get married, He already prepared someone for us. It’s our job to be faithful and prayerful to that person even thought our paths have not yet intersected. If a man is in God’s will and a woman is in God’s will, if they are meant to be, there paths will intersect in God’s time. We should faithfully wait upon God until that happens. Focusing on the harvest because God will give a helper.
The sixth principle is that man and woman are made for kinship and companionship. Genesis 2:23 says. “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” This is the first poem man said to woman. It signifies that the man is celebrating his wife because of her companionship. Before the fall, they would have eternity spent being together. However, after the fall, we just have a lifetime of companionship with our future partners. Though that is the case, it is really important to consider companionship in a prospective relationship. We can ask the question, “Could I see him or her as a potential bestfriend for the rest of my life?”
The seventh principle that I see in Gen. 2 is the principle of monogamy and marriage of between the opposite sex. There is just one man and woman – not man and another man or woman and another woman – in the picture. God ordained marriage to be enjoyed by two people who are fully committed to each other. That is why in 1 Tim. 3, it is of prime importance for the elder to be faithful to his wife or to be a one-woman man because it is a virtue expressed already since Gen. 2. Men would do well to strive to have a heart for only one woman. Sin easily creeps in and make our hearts adulterous and covetous. So, we should strive everyday, praying on our knees, to be this kind of man for our future wives.
The eigth principle is that when they get married they should be each others top priority. They are one unit now and God wants them to focus to that newly formed unit. That doesn’t mean they are to cut ties with their parents but it just means that there is a change of priority. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Holding fast signifies commitment. A marriage relationship is a picture of the covenant relationship we have with God.
Displaying God’s glory through their marriage is the highest calling that married people have (Eph. 5:22-33) Wives should reflect the submissiveness and obedience of the church while husbands should reflect Christ covenantal, relentless, and sacrificial love by His grace and for His glory. This impossible task could only be done by God’s power through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is given to us when repent from our sins and trust in Jesus Christ’s finished work on the cross for man’s salvation. He lived a perfect life for our righteousness and died a painful death to take our condemnation. He is risen proving that He is mighty to save all who would receive Him as Lord and Savior. Jesus is the One we are aiming for. He is the last and better Adam who fully exemplified biblical manhood.
Personally, as I meditate upon these truths and principles, I fell short of it big time. That’s the reason why I wrote it. For me to be reminded that this is what I ought to be aiming now and in the future. Maybe, as you read of it, you have also realized that you have fallen short of it also. The good thing is that there is a God who wants us to depend on Him for enabling grace as we act out and strive for the designed roles that God have for us.
Thank you for reading. God bless!
By grace alone 